Cards: 1) 6 of Disks 2) 8 of Swords (reversed) 3) XI Lust/Strength (reversed) 4) Ace of Cups 5) XIII Death 6) Ace of Disks 7) 5 of Cups (reversed)
There’s clear indication of an earlier stable and settled time, where you believed that everything was ordered in your world. This was suddenly disrupted and thrown into disarray - there was probably another female influence involved here. I don’t feel that this was necessarily an intimate association - it feels more like spitefulness and malice than passion.
There is currently a lot of confusion and bewilderment around you, as though you don’t really understand exactly what is happening. You seem dazed, and mournful. But at the same time it also looks as though you feel helpless to change your situation. Life is hard... unrewarding and heavy.
Your energy seems blocked by negativity - you fear the worst, and seem to refuse to allow yourself to think optimistic or hopeful thoughts. Yet your philosophy tells you that this won’t help, so you’re also having an argument with yourself about the negativity.
Can I ask you to try a method of getting out of this nasty circle? Affirmations might seem like an impossible method of changing your state of mind yet they really do work. Negativity is self-feeding. You think a negative thing, create a negative energy, attract more negativity and so feel negative. (I’m sure I’m telling you something you already know!!)
Before you can recover from being hurt, you have to create an environment in which you give yourself the loving supportive space needed to start getting better. That means deciding that you will not put yourself down, even when you feel you are acting against your regular philosophy. It means recognising that you really are going through a tough time, and deciding to care for yourself as well as you would your very best friend, were they in your situation.
And then it means breaking into the negative cycle. Try to say this affirmation a minimum of 50 times a day - more if you can manage it. And even when you aren’t believing it, say it and try to let your doubts go. Here’s the affirmation:
I am a loveable and worthwhile person.
If you stick at it, you’ll find yourself relaxing a lot, and becoming more confident. In about another four to six weeks a very unexpected event is going to occur in your environment. Somebody else’s current relationship will come to an abrupt end. There’s a feeling here that some secret was revealed and that’s what caused the breakdown. This change will be positive from your perspective.
Something very big is beginning in your life now, something which will change your future irrevocably, and which you should welcome with open arms. However just at the moment you seem to me to be a bit too doubtful to feel happy anticipation. Please try the affirmation, and try to gather all your energies and strengths to yourself for a time. Think well of yourself. Hold yourself in the highest esteem you can manage. Be gentle and loving with yourself. And just let this time pass by.
I think with the Five of Cups reversed as the final card of your reading, then end result of this period will be one in which you can overcome disappointment and feeling let down. Problems with relationships will clear out of the way, and you will be able to feel more happy and contented. You may have to re-assess some expectations you had, but this will come naturally and without pain. You will be proud of your behaviour during this period, and will appreciate more thoroughly your own strengths.
So... in answer to your original question, I think you will certainly be able to improve the relationship between yourself and your ex-boyfriend. I cannot, in all fairness, re-assure you that things will return to the way they were before - but then... perhaps that’s better for you. I do think you would serve yourself well y thinking through your relationship with him, with the emphasis on your own input, and what you received in return. Please trust that you will feel happier and stronger very soon.
In love and light.
Reading by Jan
